I would
like to find out the ruling regarding the following. If a couple would like to
make nikaah for the right reasons of completing half their deen and protecting
themselves from zina, but the grooms mother is stopping that from happening by
saying they are rushing and her son needs to be more ready financially before
getting married, therefore prolonging the nikaah for another year. However, the
son feels ready financially but would like to please his mother’s wishes. Is it
correct to listen to the mother and not go ahead with the nikaah, what is the
right way to go forward? 

Are there
duas which can be read to change the mother’s mind regarding going forward with
the marriage. 

Answer: 

Firstly, we would like to mention what is the status of Nikah in Shariah. The first stage is that of Fardh (compulsory) - where one is able to fulfils the rights of the wife and is certain or has strong presumption that if he does not resort to Nikah he will indulge in the sin of fornication and adultery), The second stage is that of Wajib (necessary) - together with being able to fulfil the rights of the wife, he is desirous and in need of Nikah and fears falling in sin (albeit not with certainty) if he does not make Nikah). The third stage is that of Sunnah Muakkadah; where one is neutral and rest-assured that he will not fall in sin.

Hence, in the scenarios where the Nikah is Fardh or Wajid, one should carry out the command of Nikah and save himself from all Fitnas; however, it is meritorious and advisable to get the approval of the family as well. Moreover, the mentioned excuse is not a credible reason to delay the marriage in Shariah. Therefore, we will advise the groom to convince his mother by educating her with the Sharie stances with regards to Nikah and explain to her the seriousness of the matter at hand. (Kitabun Nawazil Vol. 8 Pg 31-33). If needs be, he can use a local Alim to communicate this importance to his parents.

Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said:

The one who is blessed with a child, he should give him a good name, discipline him, and get him married when he reaches the age of puberty. Hence, if he does not get him married after he becomes mature and thereafter, he commits a sin (Zina), then the sin (of Zina, etc.) is upon the father. (Mishkaat #3138) 

Lastly, perform optional prayer together with the obligatory, make Dua in abundance, try to please Allah Ta'aala in every matter, and do not disobey Him in any regard; InshaAllah, in result Allah Ta'aala will bless you with the best of this world and the Hereafter.

In conclusion, try to convince, educate, explain to the mother with regards to the subject-matter as cited above; however, if she still denies without a valid reason and one is in need of Nikah, he is allowed to go on with the Nikah in order to save his Imaan and chastity. Lastly, one should be polite with one’s parents as much as possible and be obedient to them in the matters wherein he/she is not required to disobey Allah Ta'aala.

AND ALLAH TA'AALA ALONE IN HIS INFINITE KNOWLEDGE KNOWS BEST

ANSWERED BY: Ridwaan Hashim 

CHECKED AND APPROVED BY: Mufti Muhammed Saeed Motara Saheb D.B. 

Islamic Date: ١٣ صفر ١٤٤١ 

English Date: 12 October 2019