Rights of a mother and grandmother over child

Category: 

Social Matters

According to Madhhab: 

Hanafi

Reference: 

1440-031

Question: 

My mother repeatedly
makes demands to me that I should bring my daughter (her only grandchild) to
her house at least once daily as she is fond of her. However, my wife feels
that once a week is enough and that I do not have to do it daily. If I take my
daughter to my mother, then my wife is displeased and my mother is happy. If I
do not do so my mother is not happy with me. I stay near my mother and a few
minutes (approximately 20) might go in going to my mother and returning home if
I do so.

I tried to make my wife understand but she is not willing to listen to me.

My questions are:

1. Who will have more right in this instance? Is it my mother or my wife?

2. In shariat how often can a grand parent see their grand children?

3. General advice to handle the situation.


Answer: 

When dealing with such situations one requires tact and wisdom. Simply making either of the parties happy will not solve the problem. The purpose is to keep all parties satisfied; thereby living with peace and harmony. A little compromise from both parties is the only way such a situation can be resolved without leaving bitter feelings. The Ulama have written that your close family members should be visited every other day as this will increase love and if this is difficult, then once a week or at least once a month.1 However, we should understand that grandchildren bring an unrivaled sense of joy to their grandparents. The mere sight of them makes them extremely happy. One should not deprive them completely of such pleasures. Ask your wife to compromise and let your daughter visit her grandmother every second or third day. Also try and ask your mother to allow you to bring your daughter to visit every second or third day instead. Try to make each party compromise a little to accommodate each other. Also turn to Allah Ta'aala and make Dua that Allah Ta'aala softens the hearts of both and enables them both to have Muhabbat for each other.

AND ALLAH TA'AALA ALONE IN HIS INFINITE KNOWLEDGE KNOWS BEST
ANSWERED BY: Ebrahim Patel


CHECKED AND APPROVED BY:  Mufti Muhammed Saeed Motara Saheb D.B. 
Islamic Date:15 Muharram 1440  English Date: 25 September 2018

1. 1)وَصِلَةُ الرَّحِمِ وَاجِبَةٌ وَلَوْ( كَانَتْ )بِسَلَامٍ وَتََِيَّةٍ وَهَدِيَّةٍ( وَمُعَاوَنَةٍ وَمَُُالَسَةٍ وَمُكَالَمَةٍ وَتَلَطُّفٍ وَإِحْسَانٍ وَيَزُورُهُمْ غِبًّا لِيَزِيدَ حُبًّا بَلْ يَزُورُ أَقْرِبََءَهُ كُلَّ صِلَةُ الرَّحِمِ تَزِيدُ فِِ « وَفِِ الَْْدِيثِ » إنَّ اللَََّّ يَصِلُ مَنْ وَصَلَ رَحَِِهُ وَيَقْطَعُ مَنْ قَطَعَهَا « جُُُعَةٍ أَوْ شَهْرٍ وَلََ يَرُدُّ حَاجَتَهُمْ لَِِنَّهُ مِنْ الْقَطِيعَةِ فِِ الَْْدِيثِ وَتَََامُهُ فِِ الدُّرَرِ. » الْعُمُرِ )قَوْلُهُ وَيَزُورُهُمْ غِبًّا( الْغِبُّ بَِلْكَسْرِ عَاقِبَةُ الشَّيْءِ وَفِِ ال زِيََرَةِ أَنْ تَكُونَ فِِ كُ ل أُسْبُوعٍ، وَمِنْ الُْْمَّى مَا تََْخُذُهُ يَوْمًا وَتَدَعُ يَوْمًا قَامُوسٌ لَكِنْ فِِ شَرْحِ


ال شرْعَةِ هُوَ أَنْ تَزُورَ يَوْمًا وَتَدَعَ يَوْمًا وَلَمَّا كَانَ فِيهِ نَوْعُ عُسْرٍ عَدَلَ إلََ مَا هُوَ أَسْهَلُ مِنْ الْغِ ب فَقَالَ بَلْ يَزُورُ أَقْرِبََءَهُ فِِ كُ ل جُُُعَةٍ أَوْ شَهْرٍ عَلَى مَا وَرَدَ فِِ بَعْضِ ال رِوَايََتِ) رد المحتار على الدر المختار 6 ص 411 )

Tags: