Question: 

My sister got engaged (word of mouth only, no formal event took place. Just a word of mouth) to her cousin from the mother's side. After a month or so they remembered that the son was breastfed by the grandmother. The grandmother now says that when she breastfed the child she was in her menopause (pass the menstrual cycle, ie old age). I've asked a few local scholars and Have received different answers. One said that if the grandmother was in her menopause than the marriage is permissible and he also said that if the child was over the age of two it doesn't matter he drank the grandmother's milk or not the marriage will be permissible. The grandmother breastfed the child multiple times. And the grandmother says it was only to calm him down when he was crying. 

Although the scholar said if she's (grandmother) was in her menopause stage it becomes permissible but the doctors and science say that even if a woman is in her menopause stage it is still possible for her milk to come out. This is possible by either using a machine (pumps) or a baby sucking on the breasts (nipples), the name for this process is called Relactation. 

My question is, is the marriage between these two permissible?

Is it still permissible although the grandmother was in her menopause although she still could've possibly produced milk? 

Does the age of the child matter if he was under or over two?

The following is an illustration to make you understand the relationship. 

Grandmother has a son and a daughter. The daughter and the son Both have their own children. The son has a son (grandson) which was breastfed by the grandmother. The daughter has a daughter which they intend to get married to the grandson. 

Based on our research from the net, we understand that a woman experiencing menopause is still able to breastfeed a child. We quote the research of the Canadian breastfeeding foundation which states, “The Menopause Protocol. If the mother is menopausal due to surgical removal of her reproductive organs or naturally occurring menopause, she can still breastfeed and bring in her milk supply. A woman does not need a uterus or ovaries in order to breastfeed. All she needs are breasts and a functioning pituitary.” This is also confirmed by the doctors as mentioned in your query. Now, if the grandmother did really feed the child before the elapsing of two years then the child will be considered as a ‘milk sibling’ to the rest of the children breastfed by her. In simple terms, all her breastfed children will be considered as milk brothers and sisters, making it Haraam for them to marry each other.

حرمت - - - - - - وا مهتكم التي ارضعنكم واخواتكم من الرضاعة )سورة النساء( ------

If the breastfeeding is confirmed, then the intended bride is Haraam upon the cousin that she intends marrying, as he will be marrying his ‘milk sibling’s’ daughter who will now be considered as a niece (due to being breastfed by the grandmother). Just as it is not permissible to marry one’s real sister’s daughter (niece), similarly it will not be permissible to marry one’s milk sibling’s daughter as well. يحرم من الرضاع ما يحرم من النسب )المختصر القدوري ص 594 )

If the child was fed after reaching the age of two then such breastfeeding will not affect the validity of the marriage, meaning that it will now be permissible for the cousins to be married, as the child was breastfed after the breastfeeding term wherein Hurmat is established.

قليل الرضاع وكثيره سواء، إذا حصل في مدة الرضاع تعلق به التحريم، ومدة الرضاع عند أبي حنيفة ثلاثون شهراً، وقال أبو يوسف ومحمدٌ: سنتان، فإذا مضت مدة الرضاع لم يتعلق بالرضاع تحريمٌ. )المختصر القدوري ص 594 )

In conclusion, it will not be permissible for the girl to marry her cousin if she was breastfed by her grandmother during the first two years of infancy only.

And Allah Ta'aala knows best!

ANSWERED BY: Mufti Mohammed Desai 

CHECKED AND APPROVED BY: Mufti Muhammed Saeed Motara Saheb D.B 

Date: 12 Rajab 1441 

English Date: 07 March 2020